Current:Home > Scams'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds. -ProgressCapital
'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds.
View
Date:2025-04-14 14:25:06
Former NFL star Michael Oher has sued the family that took him in, alleging they never legally adopted him and only sought to profit at his expense.
The legal fallout from his petition, filed in Tennessee court Monday, is still ongoing; however, many know the pain of getting betrayed, disowned or otherwise hurt by their so-called family − and mental health experts say these wounds can run deep.
"Research suggests that the same parts of the brain that process physical pain also process emotional pain, so being cut off or isolated or betrayed or rejected or disowned by your family physically hurts," Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author, previously told USA TODAY, adding that isolation and loneliness brought on by family estrangement can put people at higher risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease and cognitive decline.
The wounds of family pain run deep
Taken in by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy while experiencing poverty and navigating the foster care system, Oher became a first-round draft pick after attending the Tuohys alma mater, Ole Miss. His life story was made into the 2009 blockbuster movie "The Blind Side" after the 2006 Michael Lewis book of the same name.
In his petition Monday, Oher alleged the Tuohy family deceived him of his legal family status and exploited his life for financial gain. He requested they stop using his name and likeness in addition to back pay for any money he may be owed.
He also said he discovered he was never legally adopted six months ago and called the situation "painful." (The Tuohy family is calling Oher’s claims of deceit "outlandish" and "transparently ridiculous," while also alleging this is not the former football player's first attempt to bring legal action against them.)
More:'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher's blockbuster lawsuit against Tuohy family explained
Therapist Gregorio Lozano III previously told USA TODAY the pain brought on by family wounds is a primal one, originating from humanity's earliest ancestors.
"When we experienced a rejection from the tribe, that meant a life or death situation," he said. "Now, we don't have that aspect, but we still have the emotional trauma that can result from that."
For many, family is also a core part of one's identity. When someone is hurt by a family member or kept from having a relationship with their family, it can undermine their sense of self and self-worth.
"A lot of our identity is tied up into our family: 'Who are my parents? What kind of family do I come from? What do we believe?' " Cole said. "When there is this discord or disconnection or fracture in the family, it affects people to their core."
Rejection by one's family can also lead someone to question if something is "fundamentally wrong with them," Cole added, a self-doubt that can impact the other relationships that person has throughout their life.
"You just never feel like you fit in. You don't know where you belong," she said. "You're constantly wondering, 'Is this relationship OK?' You're constantly taking the emotional temperature of the relationship."
More:Michael Oher alleges 'Blind Side' family deceived him into conservatorship for financial gain
My family hurt me. What should I do?
If you're struggling with a family fracture or pain as the result of family, therapists offer the following advice:
- Seek therapy: Family fractures can bring on all kinds of mental health concerns that are best treated by professionals.
- Feel your feelings: Allowing yourself to acknowledge a feeling can be healthier than repressing it, Lozano said. "It's more of what we do with those feelings that matters."
- Build an identity outside your family: Finding passions, hobbies, community and values outside of family can help build self-worth and self-efficacy, Cole said.
- Reflect on how your family fracture may be affecting your other relationships: It's important to take stock of how feelings brought on by a fractured familial relationship may be impacting your other relationships, psychiatrist Dr. Dion Metzger previously told USA TODAY. "When there's an issue within our family and we feel estranged, it does affect how we approach our relationships, our romantic relationships and our friendships," she said.
- Find healthy relationships: For people with fractured families, Cole stressed the importance of "finding other healthy relationships where you do feel seen or you feel appreciated and supported and connected."
More:Joe Biden finally acknowledged his granddaughter. Many know the pain of a family fracture.
Contributing: Chris Bumbaca, USA TODAY; Jason Munz, Memphis Commercial Appeal
veryGood! (147)
Related
- Man can't find second winning lottery ticket, sues over $394 million jackpot, lawsuit says
- A college student created an app that can tell whether AI wrote an essay
- 3 amateur codebreakers set out to decrypt old letters. They uncovered royal history
- Virginia Norwood, a pioneer in satellite land imaging, dies at age 96
- How breaking emerged from battles in the burning Bronx to the Paris Olympics stage
- FBI says it 'hacked the hackers' to shut down major ransomware group
- U.K. giving Ukraine long-range cruise missiles ahead of counteroffensive against Russia's invasion
- A Chinese drone for hobbyists plays a crucial role in the Russia-Ukraine war
- JoJo Siwa reflects on Candace Cameron Bure feud: 'If I saw her, I would not say hi'
- Radio Host Jeffrey Vandergrift Found Dead One Month After Going Missing
Ranking
- Louisiana high court temporarily removes Judge Eboni Johnson Rose from Baton Rouge bench amid probe
- Teens share the joy, despair and anxiety of college admissions on TikTok
- Prepare to catch'em all at Pokémon GO's enormous event in Las Vegas
- Radio Host Jeffrey Vandergrift Found Dead One Month After Going Missing
- 'Malcolm in the Middle’ to return with new episodes featuring Frankie Muniz
- I revamped my personal brand using this 5-step process. Here's how it went.
- What scientists are hoping to learn by flying directly into snowstorms
- Israel strikes on Gaza kill 25 people including children, Palestinians say, as rocket-fire continues
Recommendation
Brianna LaPaglia Reveals The Meaning Behind Her "Chickenfry" Nickname
Strut Your Stuff At Graduation With These Gorgeous $30-And-Under Dresses
Russia bombards Ukraine with cyberattacks, but the impact appears limited
Prepare to catch'em all at Pokémon GO's enormous event in Las Vegas
DoorDash steps up driver ID checks after traffic safety complaints
Swedish duo Loreen win Eurovision in second contest clouded by war in Ukraine
John Legend and Chrissy Teigen's Sex Life Struggle Is Relatable for Parents Everywhere
Russian woman convicted after leaving note on grave of Putin's parents: You raised a freak and a killer